Have you had "The Talk?"

Been horribly distracted since Wedneday... You know, the usual health stuff, and pastor stuff, and then there's the annual tax stuff. Health stuff had me crashing (insulin-induced hypoglycemia) and not sleeping for 40 hours or so...

But I did finally go to sleep... at 6pm on April 15th... in the middle of doing our taxes! DW's not familiar with any of that stuff so we were hosed. She tried for about three hours to wake me... She was finally successful just in time for me to finish up the taxes at 10:45.

I then tapped the software to e-file only to find out - MAJOR BUMMER! - that we had a pastor-related exception that meant we must file on paper.

Fine. Really. I'd seen that our software could e-file for an extension. We don't owe Uncle Sam any money so an extension is no problem. We still had plenty of time to download, fill-out and e-file. No big deal, right?

They wanted $20 more to e-file this form!!! (I didn't have it.)

Fine. Really. Just fine. We had an almost an hour to fill this thing out, print it, prep an envelope, switch the wife from PJs to regular clothes and drive to the post office and drop it in the slot...

She made it.

And I went back to sleep for about 7 hours. Woke up still tired, in a really spacey state, had trouble stringing together complete sentences. Been crawling out of that hole ever since. Anyway...this is the post I was writing for yesterday:

Yesterday, April 16th, was National Healthcare Decisions Day. That's a day to remind folks to have the "this is what I want to have happen if I'm unable to speak for myself" talk about end-of-life and healthcare issues.

Have you had the talk? 'Cause it can be really important.

My Dad never had the talk. He did leave a will which is a HUGE part of things but his will didn't address end-of-life issues. And it left us guessing as he lay comatose and dying for nearly three weeks. And I suspect that my mother's second-guessing continues still.

If only he'd had the talk.

Trust me. You have to work up to having the talk and it's hard. It's uncomfortable. You don't want folks to get the wrong impression. After all, you don't want them to think that you're planning on going anywhere. (I'm not, by the way. Not soon anyway. Not voluntarily!)

Y'all know that I need to have the talk. But, step into the confessional with me, I haven't... Not yet.I do have a will but it's old and very basic so it probably needs updating, too.

You see, just because you've worked up your nerve (I have, finally), that's no guarantee you'll find a ready audience! End-of-life stuff makes people edgy for some reason. Hmmm... They suddenly remember their dry cleaning and their commitment to finish War and Peace and re-grouting their tub and naps and such...

No one seems ready to have the talk.

So make an appointment with your family. Do a little reading and a little thinking. Put on a pot of coffee, gather around the table and have the talk.

I'm starting here at the Will to Live Project -- it may be semantics to you but that name makes me much more comfortable.

For wider variety of information, you can go to the resources tab on the National Healthcare Decisions Day website. They link to a range of sites that will help you figure out what to talk about and provide you with the documentation that you'll need. Will to Live is listed there and so is the American Bar Association's Consumer’s Tool Kit for Health Care Advance Planning which I found really helpful.

And if you're still feeling information-deprived you can do what I did back when my doctor and I first had the talk: just google "advance directive" or "end-of-life decision-making". You'll find plenty to keep you busy (and, please, be careful on those "right to die" websites--that isn't about semantics!)

We're having the talk this week. I'll let you know how it goes.

Posted via web from Ferndale Tonight