Friday, May 21, 2010

Memorial Day Came Early This Year

One of the advantages of insomnia is that you're really on top of the news. One of the disadvantages is that sometimes you learn things that make it that much harder to fall asleep... 
So I was awake night before last when the news came that a family friend had been killed in Kabul, Afghanistan when a mini-van packed with 1500 pounds of explosives made its way into a convoy. Our friend was one of five Americans killed, one of many total. (The news accounts are really inconsistent about Afghan deaths.)
Tom leaves behind a wife and two beautiful daughters. Like many military families, they passed through the DC area a few years ago and become part of our congregation. Tom loved his family and loved his Lord and was a wonderful friend and Christian brother. He did his first tour in Kabul during that time, came home safely and a few months later they moved to Italy, then to New York. 

O God of grace and glory,
we remember before you our brother Thomas.
We thank you for giving him to us, his family and friends,
to know and to love as a companion on our earthly pilgrimage.
In your boundless compassion, console us who mourn.
Give us faith to see in death the gate of eternal life,
so that in quiet confidence we may continue our course on earth,
until, by your call, we are reunited with those who have gone before;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen

Tom you've left us too soon.

At this Memorial Day, we thank you for proving to us the truth of Jesus' words, "Greater love has no man than this: that he lay down his life for his friends." 
Maybe it's the image of your wife and daughters getting the news that their husband and father won't be coming home. I'm a father of daughters as well. I know what it took to leave them. To trust them to God in the event I didn't come back. Our prayers are with them. 
We knew Afghanistan was dangerous. But you were in the capital not out in the provinces. And with your rank and your MOS, we just didn't think of it as being "in harm's way" in the classical sense. Like a couple of my trips--in a combat zone but not really in combat. Maybe that's why your death came as such a shock.
Regardless, the cowardice of a suicide bomber is no way to go. As a warrior, you deserved a better death. 
One last thing, Tom. And this may seem stupid. But your death makes me feel that I let you down. Not you specifically but you among all our warrior brothers and sisters.
In "What I Did in The Navy" I wrote about being part of providing warning to our military community, warning y'all of hostile intent. I can't describe how frustrating it is to be here in this bed when y'all are out there. I was good. There's a war on. I should be there with y'all. 
 So when I heard about your death, that useless, impotent, "I wish I had been there--maybe I could have done something" feeling washed over me. I know all the reasons I'm excused. I know that I'm sick. I read the retirement certificate they sent me; thus my service is fulfilled. None of it matters. I wish I had been there. Maybe... 
All I could feel was that what has happened to you is so untimely and wrong. And as a Brother, I wanted to go to war, to stand in the gap for you and Margo and especially for your girls. But I can't
So, Tom, on your behalf I offer the warfare that I still can do:

O God, from the dawn of the first day
You have cared for Your people.
By Your hand we were created;
in Your hand we live;
and to Your hand we return again.
You have revealed Yourself in many ways,
until, in the fullness of time,
Your Word was made flesh and dwelt among us
in Jesus Christ our Lord.
In his life, death, and resurrection
we find our calling in this world and our hope for the world to come.
We give You thanks for Your servants,
who, having lived this life in faith,
will live eternally with You.
We especially thank You for Tom, for the gift of his life,
for the grace You have given him,
for all in him that was good and kind and faithful.
Into Your hands, O merciful Savior, we commit Your servant Tom.
Acknowledge, we pray, a sheep of Your own fold,
a lamb of Your own flock,
a sinner of Your own redeeming.
We thank You that for Tom death is past,
pain is ended,
and he has entered the joy You have prepared
in the company of all the saints.
Give us faith to look beyond touch and sight,
and in seeing that we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,
enable us to run with perseverance the race that is set before us,
looking to Jesus,
the author and finisher of our faith.
Bring us at last to Your eternal peace,
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
Amen.

God of the living, in whose eyes
unveiled thy whole creation lies,
all souls are thine; we must not say
that those are dead who pass away,
from this our world of flesh set free;
we know them living unto thee.

Released from earthly toil and strife,
with thee is hidden still their life;
thine are their thoughts, their works, their powers,
all thine, and yet most truly ours;
for well we know, where'er they be,
our dead are living unto thee.

Not spilled like water on the ground,
not wrapped in dreamless sleep profound,
not wandering in unknown despair
beyond thy voice, thine arm, thy care;
not left to lie like fallen tree;
not dead, but living unto thee.

Thy word is true, thy will is just;
to thee we leave them, Lord, in trust;
and bless thee for the love which gave
thy Son to fill a human grave,
that none might fear that world to see
where all are living unto thee.

O Breather into man of breath,
O Holder of the keys of death,
O Giver of the life within,
save us from death, the death of sin;
that body, soul and spirit be
for ever living unto thee.

We entrust Tom’s spirit to God
for we know the merciful Judge of all the earth will do right.
We entrust Tom to our God
in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection
to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ,
who will transform our frail bodies that
they may be conformed to his glorious body,
who died, was buried, and rose again for us.
To Him be glory for ever.
Amen.

Jesus said, “Everyone the Father gives to me will come to me;
I will never turn away anyone who believes in me.”  

He who raised Jesus Christ from the dead
will also give new life to our mortal bodies through His indwelling Spirit.

My heart, therefore, is glad, and my spirit rejoices;
my body also shall rest in hope.
You will show me the path of life;
in Your presence there is fullness of joy,
and in Your right hand are pleasures for evermore.

We commend to Almighty God our brother Tom. 
Lord bless Tom and protect him.
Lord smile on Tom and be gracious to him.
Lord show Tom Your favor and give him Your peace.
In the Name of Your only Son, Our Lord and Savior, Jesus.
Amen.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We adore the Belkofer family, and have maintained a close relationship w/them over the years, ever since they were in our small group AND fellowship dinner group. We kept in touch, even after Tom was stationed in Vicenza, and even after they relocated to Ft Drum (conveniently, on the same base as my brother in law). We were devastated by the news, Dan. Devastated. I think your articulation of the why's may be the best I've read yet. Heck, I can't even put my own feelings into words, though I have been trying w/o success. Thanks for this post.
Your friend,
Mike E